Surrender

I love my job! I love helping people by teaching yoga. I love sharing the stuff I am working on and the insights I have gained over the years of practice. I particularly love training people to become yoga teachers. It is such a transformative process to watch someone who loves to practice yoga turn around and share why they love it so much.

In the process of their learning, I ask my teacher trainees to prepare classes and quotes and themes. They all share such wonderful  and tender parts of themselves. The things that we share as yoga teachers are often the very things we are working on ourselves.

One theme that a lot of us need work on is the theme of surrendering. It is a great topic for a yoga class and for life as we often have to embrace change.  I also talked about surrender last week as it relates to letting go and relaxing in Savasana. This past week, one of my students read something about the topic of surrender that resonated with us all so much, we asked her to share it. Thanks, Brina. Here it is:

"When dogs play ball, they often want to repeat the joy of running after the ball again and again. Some dogs cling to the ball, not understanding that to keep playing, they must let go. When I desire to maintain an experience, I may get so attached to it I block the receipt of the very thing I want."

"Letting go of what I desire is the way to receive it. As I let go, I give over to spirit and trust that my desired outcome, or something better, will come back to me. Clinging stops the law of circulation.  the cycle of giving and receiving."

What are you clinging onto? Maybe it is the very thing that you need to release in order to invite more abundance into your life. What do you think? I'd love to hear your comments below!

Santosha: Fortunate? Unfortunate?

Santosha is the Sanskrit word for contentment and the second of the five Niyamas, or self practices. It is hard to find contentment. Modern marketing and advertising techniques are designed to make us want more, to be discontented with what we have. Most of us practice contentment when things are going our way, when things are good. It is so easy to be content under those circumstances. The trick is being content when things are not going your way, when you are having a bad day. How can we find contentment? How do we practice Santosha?

We have all heard the following statements about practicing contentment:

When life serves you lemons, make lemonade.
Be happy with what you've got.
I complained about not having shoes until I saw a man with no feet.
It is better to want what you have than to have what you want.

In the Yoga Sutras, Patanjali writes that "Superlative happiness arises from practicing contentment." Samtoshaad anuttamah sukha-laabhah. Yoga Sutra 2.42

The process is to not to be content but rather to practice contentment. These are the steps:
1) Notice you're practicing being discontented.
2) Make a decision to practice contentment.
3) Here's the yogic key: don't think of something that makes you content. That something is somewhere else, or someone else, other than where you are and what you are doing; it is a way of becoming less present. Instead, simply be content with where you are and what you are doing, even if it isn't what you wanted to have happening in that moment. Practice contentment. This practice not only makes you content, it makes you more present. It is about you being present to your own life, by being present within your own self This is what makes it easy for Patanjali to fulfill his promise.

I'd to share my favorite story about contentment. It is called Fortunate? Unfortunate?:

Fortunate, Unfortunate?

There once lived a farmer. He lived on a farm with his wife, his son and one horse that the family had raised from a colt. The family planned to enter the horse in the annual county fair and hoped it would win prizes that could lead to breeding opportunities. This would ensure a nice future income for the farmer and his family.

The night before the fair, a violent storm swept over the countryside. When the farmer and his family awoke early the next morning, they found that the fences had been blown down. Their prize stallion was nowhere to be found. The farmer's wife was beside herself with despair. The neighbours came and joined in the wife's grief.

"What terrible misfortune has befallen us!" cried the wife. "Yes, yes, this is most unfortunate,"the neighbours agreed. But the farmer said, "Fortunate or unfortunate, I don't know, let's wait and see."

A week passed and the farmer and his family were sitting at the breakfast table. Looking out the kitchen window they saw a herd of horses galloping toward the farm. It was their faithful stallion, leading five horses and a little filly behind him. He had found a herd of wild mares, and now he was bringing them home. The farmer's family ran out to open the corral gate for the horses. The farmer's wife was overjoyed and exclaimed, "What a fortunate turn of events, this is unbelievable!" The neighbours rushed over exclaiming, "How fortunate you are!" The farmer just said, "Fortunate or unfortunate, I don't know, let's wait and see."

Over the next weeks the farmer and his son were busy training the new horses. One day the son was thrown by one of the wild horses. He suffered a bad fall and broke many bones. The farmer's wife was very upset. Between her sobs she said, "We never should have let those wild horses in; this is a most unfortunate accident! My poor son." The neighbours came to commiserate with the wife about her misfortune. And the farmer said, "Fortunate or unfortunate, I don't know, let's wait and see."

Two days later the king's soldiers came by the little farm. The king had declared war on an adjacent country and the soldiers had orders to draft all able-bodied young men into the army. On seeing the farmer's son with both legs and both arms broken, not to mention several ribs fractured and numerous lacerations on his face and head, they left him home and continued on to the next family. The farmer's wide wept with relief, crying, "How lucky we are! This is most unfortunate." The neighbours most of whom had had sons taken off to war, said, "You are indeed most fortunate." The farmer said, "Fortunate or unfortunate, I don't know, let's wait and see."

Some months passed. The farmer's son was recovering nicely; he was able to walk, albeit with a cane. A messenger from the kings palace dropped by the farm to inquire about the health of the son. Seeing the son's improved condition he stated that by order of the king, the son must come at once to the palace to work in the gardens and stables. There was a shortage of workers at the palace due to the war. What could the family do but let their son go? The wife was bitterly angry and cursed the king for his unfairness. "How unfortunate we surely are! We have lost our only son and there will be no one to help us with the farm now." The neighbours came by to console the wife, murmuring, "What an unfortunate turn of events." The farmer just said, "Fortunate or unfortunate, I don't know, let's wait and see."

The king had a beautiful daughter. One day she looked out of her window and saw the handsome new gardener. She fell in love with him and went to her father and said, "Father, I have found the man I wish to marry. Please make it happen!" The king, unable to resist a request from his lovely daughter replied, "Of course, it shall be done."

The next day a messenger was sent from the palace to the farm, bearing a wedding invitation for the farmer and his wife, as well as an invitation for them to come live permanently at the palace. Can you imagine the reaction of the farmer's wife? She was ecstatic and could hardly contain her joy. Jumping up and down she laughed, "This is incredible, how fortunate!" The neighbours exclaimed, "Indeed, this is a very fortunate turn of events!" And the farmer, as usual, said, ...!"

(a story from Jivamukti Yoga)

How about you? Are you fortunate? unfortunate? Shall we wait and see?

Namaste,

Karin

Giving and Receiving - Is it a fair exchange?

Last week I was talking about Aparigraha, or nonhoarding.  I pointed out how, in most yogic texts, there is always this promise of the great things that will happen to you if you wholeheartedly practice the Yamas.

For example, for Ahimsa, or nonviolence, the Yoga Sutras say, "All others will cease to feel hostility in the presence of one who is firmly established in ahimsa."  Y.S. 2.35.  Or, for Satya, truthfulness, "All words and actions bear full fruit when the yogi is firmly established in truthfulness." Y.S. 2.36.  For Asteya, non-stealing, "Great riches present themselves freely when you are firmly established in asteya."  Y.S. 2.37.  For Brahmacarya, or celibacy, "One firmly established in celibacy gains potency."  Y.S. 2.38.  And finally, for Aparigraha, "By the observation of aprigraha, the yogi makes his life as simple as possible and trains his mind not to feel the loss or lack of anything. Then everything he really needs will come to him at the proper time."  Y.S. 2.39

Whenever I read about the Yamas, I generally agree that it is a good idea to work on them.  (We already discussed the celibacy issue;).  But then you get to the great promises that these practices give and I always wonder if they are realistic. If I truly practice non-hoarding, will everything I really need come to me at the proper time?  How can this be true when they are so many needy and struggling people in the world?

Maybe an important part of the question is how much do I really need as opposed to how much do I want?  And, perhaps more importantly, what do I need to do in exchange?  I don't think the yogic texts mean that I can sit around waiting to win the lottery. We each have work to do.  We have to have some form of fair exchange.

I was reading Brain Pickings, a weekly blog I subscribe to, and I came upon this article on Amanda Palmer.  In her fascinating TED talk, Ms. Palmer talks about her stint as a street performer and the skills she developed there in asking for things to have her needs met.  She talks about asking, giving, receiving, trust and the fairness of the exchanges she is involved in.  You should listen to the talk.  It is very interesting. Amanda also wrote a book about her experiences called "The Art of Asking, How I learned to stop worrying and let other people help." It struck me that perhaps this is what the yogic texts meant when they talked about things showing up in our lives unbidden.  Although, Amanda does ask for what she needs, the things she needs do show up.

Something else I also enjoyed: You can also listen to Amanda reading a poem by the Polish Poet Nobel Laureate Wislawa Szymborska titled "Possibilities".  From the Brain Pickings site:  "Amanda’s music, like Brain Pickings, is free and supported by donations - a heartening celebration of the creative possibilities that open up when we actively stand behind the things we prefer; when we choose the absurdity of supporting artists over the absurdity of not supporting artists."

I hope you enjoy the TED Talk. Let me know what you think.  Comment below.

The Secret of Yoga

"In order to be truly free, you must desire to know the truth more than you want to feel good. Practicing in a way that supports our lifestyle and everything we already know is not a challenge to our basic patterns of conditioning in body, mind and heart, because if feeling good is our goal, then as soon as we feel better, we will lose interest in what is true.” - The Inner Tradition of Yoga by Michael Stone

As a yoga teacher, I find that the following story gets repeated over and over.

I was approached by a student the other day. She wanted to know what she could do to improve her ability to do yoga. She hadn’t been coming to class lately because she had a fall and injured her hand. She did physical therapy for her hand and had gotten better to a certain extent but still found it difficult to do positions where she was weight bearing on her hands. She has been doing pilates and other exercise classes to keep her strength and conditioning up but she has not been able to come back to yoga. I suggested modifying by doing postures on her forearms, which did not seem like a satisfactory answer. I asked her if she still did the exercises her physical therapist told her to do and she said no; she seemed rather bored with that. I suggested that perhaps there were some things we could do to improve the range of motion in her shoulders. Often the site of the pain is not the cause of the pain and students who have pain in their wrists while doing yoga may actually have restricted motion in their shoulders. But she shrugged that off saying that there was not an issue with her shoulders. I suggested other styles of yoga and other teachers. I teach a vinyasa style of yoga where we use our hands for Down Dog and Low Push Up as well as Side Planks and Handstands. Perhaps she needs a style of yoga that didn’t do those things? No, none of that seemed to be satisfactory. I felt somewhat flattered that she wanted to take classes with me. But then I wondered if it was that or was it simply not wanting to let go of what used to be. I get that. Letting go is hard. But, in not letting go we get stuck, bound up in an attachment to something that had previously brought us pleasure. We want that hit of pleasure and we don’t want to be told that we can’t do what we used to be able to do.

Or, maybe we don’t want to be told that we have to do some work to get there. The other side of her dilemma is the idea of doing the work that she needs to do. For her, it might be to continue the exercises for her hand. Maybe she got 80% better and needs to keep going to get 100%. Maybe she will never get 100% better. (I don’t know the extent of her injury. But, as someone who has broken her wrist I do know a thing or two about rehabilitating a hand injury.) There is something entirely monotonous in doing the ground work to rehab an injury or keep ourselves in shape and our bodies functioning optimally. For myself there are certain remedial exercises I need to do to maintain healthy alignment in my hips and back due to my scoliosis and to make sure that my wrist stays feeling good. Those exercises are boring, but they work. I am tempted to skip them because they take up a lot of time. But I know if I do that I will eventually fall into my patterns and habits and be back in pain, again. These exercises are part of my work. They may not be exercises that you should do. Your remedial exercises would be entirely different depending on your body, your issues and what you want to work on.

A common quality we all share is a sense of impatience. We all want to be able to do things now. We don’t want to do the remedial actions, the baby steps, we want the end product, the final result. I once had a yoga student who would get frustrated because she couldn’t do what I could do. She took privates with me, once a week for a couple of years. She never practiced on her own outside of class. I thought she was doing very well for the amount of effort and work she put into her yoga, but that wasn’t good enough for her. She wanted me to tell her what to do to get better. I told her that she needed to do more yoga. I suggested that she take privates with me more than once a week, come to public classes, or practice on her own. But that was not what she wanted to hear. She eventually got frustrated and quit. I felt like she wanted me to tell her the “secret” of yoga, that one thing that would change everything; the one thing that seemed to be hidden from her and did not require any great effort. She wanted to feel good. She wasn’t interested in the truth. Of course, there is no such secret. There is only the work that we each must do.

29 Gifts

I was especially looking forward to reading Cami Walker's book 29 Gifts, the book I chose for January.  One of my students gave it to me for Christmas. Although I wanted to start reading it right away, I made myself wait until January First to pick it up.  I knew that I would devour it and I wanted to have it fresh in my mind for January.  It's quite an easy read.  I read it in the car on our drive up from Florida.

I thought I would do the practice of giving 29 gifts every day during the month of January.  It seems so appropriate after the gift giving frenzy of Christmas, where gifts are expected.  Who is going to expect a gift now? Maybe you'd like to join me?  If one person does it and it has the power to change their life, imagine if several people do it. We could start a movement!  Would you like to join me?  If you do, share something about your experience on my blog

The rules are simple:

• Give 29 gifts in 29 days. Set a date to begin so that you can begin with full intention.

• Start Day 1 with a short meditation about your purpose in doing this exercise.  Be clear.  If your intentions are vague, or the energy is half-hearted, your experience will mirror that.

• Consider beginning everyday of your challenge with a meditation and write out an affirmation statement for your day. Examples include:

• Today I give with love.

• Today I give with  gratitude.

• Today I give with joy.

• Today I give with abundance.

• Your gifts can be anything offered to anyone -spare change, cans of soup, your time, kind words or thoughts.  Anything you mindfully give another person "counts". That being said, watch out for gifts that are coming from the following places within yourself because you will likely feel drained when giving from this space:

• The Bartering Give: If I give, I am good and I will be rewarded.

  1. The Obligated Give: I have to give because it's expected of me.

  2. The Guilty Give: If I don't give I will have bad karma.

  3. The Begrudging Give: He's got new shoes on, he can't need money that badly.

  4. The Resentful Give: I Suppose I better give because it's Day 15, even though I just spent $300 on new brakes for my car.

• Give at least once a day for 29 consecutive days so that the energy around the ritual gathers momentum.  if you do not give one day, I Suggest starting at Day 1 to release the energy and allow it to build again.  If this is too much for you, just pick up where you left off.  The important thing is to not quit.

Please let me know how this practice is working for you.  Leave your comments below.

Patience and Breath.

photo by Robyn Graham

It took me about eight years to be able to touch the floor in a standing froward bend. I hope you don't get discouraged by that announcement. It might have taken me less time if I wasn't so obsessed with it. I remember when I started doing yoga again in the 90's, after being away from it for several years. I was tight. I would watch other people come into yoga class and they would be as tight as I was, but then I noticed that they began to get more flexible and I didn't seem to be making any progress. I kept wondering what I was doing wrong. My teacher at the time wasn't that particular about alignment. She wasn't particularly helpful, either. One day she asked me when I was going to get over my hamstring thing! I wished I knew. I thought the day that I would finally be able to touch the floor would be a memorable day for me because I wanted it so bad.

I kept working on my hamstring flexibility by trying harder. I tried so hard that my hamstring attachments at my sitting bones would hurt. I kept irritating them by pushing too hard. One day I finally tore my hamstring. Ouch! I kept practicing, afraid to give up my perceived progress. My sitting bones hurt almost all the time. My physical therapist wasn't much help. I had better range of motion with a torn hamstring than most of his patients would ever hope to achieve. I became even more interested in alignment and anatomy. However, it wasn't until I re-injured my hamstring and ended back in my orthopedic surgeon's office that I started to figure things out. My orthopedic surgeon gave me the best advice for healing my hamstring. I had asked him how could I tell if I was rehabilitating my hamstring or re-injuring it, because when you do physical therapy on an injury, it hurts! This is what he told me:

"When you have an injury, it hurts. Assign the pain you have a number from 1 to 10, with 1 being no pain and 10 being the most pain. So, let's say the pain is a 5 today. When you begin to do your yoga practice, try to keep the pain at the same level. If the pain goes up, don't let it go up by more than 1. When you stop exercising, the pain should return to the same level it was before you started. And (here's where the patience comes in) the next day, your pain should not be any worse."

So, you can only tell if you have gone too far by how you feel the next day! After he told me that, I didn't need too many of those next days where the pain would shoot up to a 7 or 8 to figure it out. I learned to back off, feel what was going on in my body and work smarter, not harder. When I stopped pushing myself so hard, my progress in forward bends developed quickly. I paid more attention to my alignment and to my breath. I cannot remember the day when I was finally able to touch the floor in a standing forward bend because the goal became so much less important than the process.

Are we sensation junkies? Do we push ourselves too hard to feel something? In our effort to feel something, are we not feeling what is already there? Perhaps what we need to feel in our bodies is a greater sense of ease. My Iyengar teacher would say that most students cannot differentiate between pain and a stretch. I know she was right in my case. Where are we trying to get to? What's the rush? Are we so focused on getting somewhere that we cannot appreciate where we are right now? Let me know where you are frustrated. Write in a comment below.

Do you have pain in your body when you are practicing yoga? Are your frustrated with your progress or perceived lack of progress? I would be happy to help you explore these questions. If you are interested, you can always schedule a private with me. Contact me by clicking here.

Several people have expressed interest in learning more about what is going on under their skin while they are doing yoga poses, without having to go through a teacher training program. I am in the process of putting together an experiential anatomy workshop for anyone who is interested in learning more about their anatomy while doing yoga. If this is something that you would be interested in, please leave a comment below. What three things would you like to learn about your body in yoga?