Just For Fun - Word Play

Just for Fun: Word Play!

For years, an email has been circulating about the “Washington Post's Mensa invitational,” which includes a very clever list of words made by changing common words.

The most recent email circulation listed the “2009 winners.”   Those of you who have received this email probably noticed it was very similar to the “2008 winners.”  In fact, they’re also very similar to many of the 1998 winners!  (UPDATE: The very same "2014" list is now in circulation – check Google!)

So, many, many years ago, someone ran a contest and it’s been circulating on the internet ever since.

But hey, it’s a good idea.  And it's really funny!

Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

 The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did!

Lessons from the Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 2

The Bhagavad Gita is one of the best known and important texts of Indian literature. The words of the title mean “Song of the Lord”.  The teachings of the Gita are presented in the form of a dialogue between Sri Krishna, whom the Hindus regard as the Lord Himself and Arjuna; a warrior, an archer, the leader of the Pandavas who are in a battle against their cousins the Kurus for control of a kingdom.  Arjuna is the good guy and the bad guys are the blind King Dhrtarastra and his hundred sons.

“The Gita can be read as history, but it lends itself to being an allegory.  In this mode, Arjuna represents the individual soul and Sri Krishna the Supreme Soul that dwells in every heart.  Arjuna’s chariot is the body.  The blind king Dhrtarastra is the mind under the spell of maya, or ignorance, and his hundred sons are man’s numerous evil tendencies.  The battle is an eternal one that is always going on between the powers of good and the powers of evil.  The warrior who listens to the advice of the Lord speaking from within will triumph in this battle and attain the Highest Good.”  From the foreword of the Bhagavad Gita as translated by Winthrop Sargeant.

The following verses contain one of the main teachings of the Bhagavad Gita: (Stephen Mitchell version)

You have a right to your actions
but never to your actions fruits
Act for the action’s sake
And do not be attached to inaction

Self-possessed, resolute, act
without any thoughts of results
open to success or failure
This equanimity is yoga.

Action is far inferior
to the yoga of insight, Arjuna.
Pitiful are those who, acting,
are attached to their actions fruits.

The wise man lets go of all
results, whether good or bad,
and is focused on the action alone.
Yoga is skill in actions.  (B.G. II.47 – 50)

Since Arjuna is an archer, the following lesson from is an appropriate follow up.  One of Arjuna’s concerns that we all share is wanting to know the outcome.  What if I win?  What if I lose?  Krrisna’s teaching above is reflected in the wisdom of The Way of Chuang Tzu, as translated by Thomas Merton

The Need to Win

When the archer shoots his arrow for nothing, he has all his skill.
When he shoots for a Blue Ribbon, he is already nervous.
When he shoots for a prize of gold, he goes blind and sees two targets.  He is out of his mind; his skill has not changed, but the prize divides him - he cares.  He thinks more of winning than of shooting, and the need to win drains him of all his power.

Can Yoga Cause a Stroke?

Can yoga cause a stroke? Apparently so.

My yoga classes were buzzing last week with the story of a yoga teacher who suffered a stroke. Some of them just wanted to talk about the story and some of them were concerned for their own health and safety.

I had heard about the story, but I hadn’t looked into it. At first I assumed it was one of those random events where somebody had something inside of them that they didn’t know about: a ticking, internal time bomb that could go off at any time. When I looked into the story, I realized that was not the case. And that this story was not what I typically associated with a stroke. This was more of a preventable accident. The woman actually tore the carotid artery in her neck while performing a yoga pose which caused a blood clot to travel to her brain.

Rebecca Leigh was an Instagram star, posting pictures to her 26,000 fans. She suffered an injury while she was doing a pose called a hollow back handstand. It seems that she was working hard in the pose to get it perfect for her many fans and she pushed herself too far.

Rebecca Leigh in the hospital and performing a hollow back handstand

This incident happened in May of 2017. I’m not sure why it is making the rounds now, but it is a good cautionary tale. Any activity, including yoga, can be dangerous. Some of it depends on your health history. You know that saying about consulting your doctor before you embark on any exercise regime, right?! How many of us do that? Some of the conditions that predispose you to stroke are obesity, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and diabetes. If you have any of these conditions, check with your doctor to see what you should or should not be doing, not your yoga teacher.(Although, please let me know if you have any of these conditions.) Once your doctor has cleared you to do things, or suggested you don’t do certain things, that’s where your yoga teacher comes in. I can help you build towards a pose over time if appropriate, or find a suitable modification for a pose that you shouldn’t do.

While she survived the ordeal, Ms. Leigh still suffers the consequences of what she did. She has trouble speaking and suffers headaches. She cautions people not to push themselves in yoga, to take their time, go easy, be patient. This is always the advice in yoga, but our ego can get in the way and sometimes we want to go just a little bit further to try a little bit harder. We often want our results now.  It is important to work on maintaining good alignment from the beginning in any pose.  Start with the foundation and work gradually and intelligently from there.  Often students think that they are more advanced than they are and just want to achieve the pose. This story is a dramatic reminder to be patient and work within your abilities and limitations.

In the book How Yoga Works, Miss Friday asks her student The Captain to try to touch his toes while standing up. He bends forward and his fingers are about a foot off the ground. She grabs some stacks of paper off of his desk and puts them on the floor under his hands until his fingertips reach the top of the stack. Then she tells him to practice this pose every day, but that he can only remove one sheet of paper a day. The Captain gets dejected when he looks at the 1,000 or so sheets of paper that are stacked up under his fingers. He reckons that it will take more than three years to touch the floor. But really, what’s the hurry? There are no prizes for achieving a pose and there certainly are consequences for pushing ourselves too far.

One of the things I thought was interesting, and scary, is that despite having trouble with vision and the use of her left arm, it took this woman 2 days to get to the hospital to be looked at. This story is a good reminder that it is better to be checked out right away than it is to sleep on it and see how you feel in the morning. Fast treatment can lessen the brain damage that stroke can cause.

Here are the warning signs for stroke. The CDC uses the acronym F.A.S.T. to help you remember:
Acting F.A.S.T. Is Key for Stroke

When someone is having a stroke, every minute counts. Just as putting out a fire quickly can stop it from spreading, treating a stroke quickly can reduce damage to the brain. If you learn how to recognize the telltale signs of a stroke, you can act quickly and save a life—maybe even your own.

Acting F.A.S.T. can help stroke patients get the treatments they desperately need. The stroke treatments that work best are available only if the stroke is recognized and diagnosed within 3 hours of the first symptoms. Stroke patients may not be eligible for these if they don’t arrive at the hospital in time.

If you think someone may be having a stroke, act F.A.S.T. and do the following simple test:
F—Face: Ask the person to smile. Does one side of the face droop?
A—Arms: Ask the person to raise both arms. Does one arm drift downward?
S—Speech: Ask the person to repeat a simple phrase. Is the speech slurred or strange?
T—Time: If you see any of these signs, call 9-1-1 right away.

If you want to read more about strokes, here is the link to the CDC pages.

Strapasana, or the fine art of threading a yoga belt.

How to Thread a Yoga Belt or Strap

Knowing how to use props correctly can support and inform your practice, or frustrate you if you don't know how to use them correctly.  Blocks are pretty straightforward; you just have to know which height and which orientation.  Blankets are a little harder and a lot like origami.  It is important to fold the blankets correctly to provide a good platform to support your body.  There are a couple of basic folds that we use in yoga, but that is the subject of another blog post.  I always thought belts were pretty simple to thread, go up through the middle and down through the end.  All you have to do is to make sure the buckle is right side up, otherwise the belt will slide.  But I often find that teaching people how to use a belt in class takes up a lot more time than I often think it should.

I created this how to article after a colleague once commented that she used to think that all of the straps in the studio where she taught were broken.  And this was a yoga teacher!  Knowing how to use a prop is as important as knowing where to place your hands and feet in any pose.

In this post, I will go over how to thread the most common types of belts you usually find in a yoga studio.  There are three basic types of belts; a metal buckle, a plastic buckle and a plastic quick release buckle.  The metal buckles are the easiest to use.  They can never be upside down. 

The Metal Buckle

A Metal Buckle

The metal buckle is made up of two metal D-rings.  It threads the same way all belts thread; up through the middle hole and down through the hole on the end.

A metal buckle threaded

All buckles thread the same way, you go up through the middle and down through the outside.

Plastic Buckles

The most important thing you need to know about a plastic buckle is whether it is right side up or upside down.

Here is a picture of a plastic buckle, right side up:

Here is a picture of the same buckle upside down:

This buckle is threaded the correct way and it will not slide.

If the buckle is threaded upside down, the belt will slide. This belt buckle is threaded the wrong way:

To thread a buckle, make sure the buckle is right side up and bring the tail end of the belt up through the middle:

And then take the belt down through the end.

The Quick Release Belt

The third kind of belt is the quick release belt.  I like these the best because you don’t ever have to thread them, they usually have a spot where you pinch them to release them and then they snap together.  The only thing you ever have to do to a quick release belt is to adjust the length of the belt.

Here is a picture of a quick release buckle:

Here is a picture of a quick release buckle taken apart:

This type of belt snaps together.  To get it apart, you squeeze where the indentations are.

In the picture above left, the left side could be unthreaded but never needs to be.  If you find a belt like this unthreaded, simply rethread it the way you would any other buckle; up through the middle and down through the end.  It is often easier to thread it correctly when the two parts are snapped together.

To thread:  First make sure the buckle is right side up and then go up through the middle hole…

…and down through the end.

This is a quick release belt threaded upside down. The belt won't hold. It will slide when you pull on it. Compare it to the picture of a the quick release belt above.

I hope that his article helps you figure out how to thread a belt correctly so that we can spend more class time on asana and less time on props!

The Pose of the Month for April 2019

Bakasana

Baka means Crane, although we typicallly call it Crow Pose.  Some students think that Crow is with the arms bent and Crane is with the arms straight.  I've only known it as Crow.  In the beginning it is hard to straighten your arms.  (As you can see in my photo.)

Crow is often one of the first arm balances you learn after Caturanga and Handstand.  “Arm Balances are the perfect poses to practice persistence in the face of challenge, as well as non-attachment to the fruits of your labors.” ( Julie Gudmestad, YJ, July/August 2002.)

Alignment – Skeletal:
How is the body lined up in space?

• The hands are place on the floor shoulder width apart, wrist creases pointing straight ahead.

•  The knees are pressing against the outer arms, high up near the arm pits.

• The back is rounded and is higher than the buttocks.

• The inner edges of the feet are touching.

• The arms will be bent at first and eventually straightened

Actions – Muscular:
What do you do while you are in the pose?

• Press the inner knees against the arms.

• Isometrically squeeze the inner arms towards each other.

• Press the inner edges of the feet together, everting the feet, this will also help with squeezing the knees.

• The belly button is pulled back into the spine, engaging the abs.

• Lift the kidneys towards the ceiling.

• Extend the neck and keep the head as high as possible.

Drishti, (or Focal Point):

• Straight ahead, eyes on the horizon.

Images:

• Feel a cat tilt in your back.

• Inner thighs hold you in pose, this comes from squeezing your inner thighs together and everting the feet.

Modifications:
To lessen for beginners or injuries:

• Malasana is a good indicator of a student’s ability to find this shape and a good warm up for the flexion of the hips required for this arm balance.

• Tripod Headstand is a good place to start for an arm balance.

• Lowering into Caturanga and raising up into High Plank helps build the necessary arm strength for this pose.

• Lolasana, with or without blocks, strengthens the arms and abs for this pose.

• Navasana helps strengthens abs.

• Find the shape of the pose lying on your back. This will enable you to find the foot placement and allow them to feel how the knees squeeze.

• Use a block under the forehead to be able to be on your arms and feel what the rest of the body is trying to do while you are in the pose.

• Use a block under the heels to feel how to keep the body compact, heels and buttocks close together.

To intensify:

• Once you can balance on your arms, begin to try to straighten the arms.

• Bakasana push-ups strengthen the arms and train the body for transitions.

• Bakasana to Sirsasana II and back to Bakasana.

Effects:

• This asana strengthens the arms and abdominal organs since the latter are contracted.

• Counters osteoporosis because it is a weight bearing exercise.

• Strengthens the balance reflex and thus helps prevent falls.

Pregnancy:

• Not recommended – strong abdominal contraction is required.

Contraindications:

• Pregnancy

• Wrist issues

Sequencing:
3 poses before – to prepare:

Adho Mukha Svanasana, High Plank, Malasana

3 poses after – to release:

• Adho Mukha Svanasana, Uttanasana, Urdhva Mukha Virasana

3 poses after – to go further:

• Sirsasana II, Eka Pada Sirsasana, Eka pada Bakasana

Personal experience:
This pose took me a long time to come to terms with.  First there was the feeling of falling on my face, which I did.  Then I could do the pose but couldn't stay in it.  Then came the period where I could reliably get into it and hold it. Crow is definitely about strength, but it is not just arm strength.  Most of the strength comes from your adductors: your ability to hug your knees into your outer arms.  Then comes the drawing in of the navel to the spine and the engagement of the pelvic floor.  The arm strength is more subtle as you have to find the balance, like a see-saw.  There has to be the same amount of weight in front of the wrists as behind them.  It is this delicate balance that helps you find the pose.  Perfecting Crow gives you a sense of independence and self-confidence.

12 Basic Yoga Poses. Endless Variations.

There are only 12 basic yoga poses with endless variations on the themes.

By that I mean that there are only a handful of basic shapes that make up the majority of yoga poses.  But you can play with that basic shape by recreating it’s form in different relationships to gravity to get hundreds of different yoga poses.

Let’s start with a basic right angle shape.  If you stand in Mountain pose and bend yourself in half, you will come into a pose called Ardha Uttanasana, or Half Forward Bend.  This version of the shape begins to challenge the flexibility of your hamstrings but in such a way that you are working with gravity to help you fold in half.

Half Forward Bend or Ardha Uttanasana

If you take that same shape sitting on the floor with your legs stretched out straight in front of you this is Dandasana, or Staff Pose.  This challenges the flexibility of your hamstrings even more.  But in this orientation to gravity, if your hamstrings are tight, you will feel yourself almost being pulled backward.

Staff Pose or Dandasana

If you lean back about 30 degrees and lift your feet up off the floor this will bring you into boat pose.  In this version of the 90 degree angle your abdominal muscles are being challenged.

Boat Pose or Navasana

If you turn your Boat Upside Down and stretch your arms overhead, you will find yourself in Downward Facing Dog.  While Down Dog challenges your arm strength, it also continues to challenge your hamstring flexibility.

Down Dog or Adho Mukha Svanasana

If you back your Dog up so that your heels touch the wall and then walk your feet up onto the wall so that your legs are parallel to the floor and your arms and torso are vertical, you have Half Handstand.  This version of the 90 degree posture challenges your arm strength.

Half Handstand or Ardha Adho Mukha Vrksasana

And finally, if you are tired after doing all of these 90 degree shapes, you can take your legs up the wall and rest in a restorative pose.  This version of the basic right angle shape is good for resting and refreshing yourself, especially if you have been standing on your feet all day.

Legs Up The Wall or Viparita Karani

Education and The Spiritual Journey

“Yoga does not just change the way we see things, it transform the person who sees.” B.K.S. Iyengar

I recently listened to (and thought you might enjoy) Terry Gross’ interview with Barbara Brown Taylor on Fresh Air this past week. Ms. Taylor is an ordained Episcopal priest who left her job as rector of a church to become a professor of religion. Barbara Taylor has written several books on religion and spirituality including: An Altar In the World, Learning to Walk in the Dark, Leaving Church and her memoir titled Holy Envy.

As a professor of religion, Taylor said that she “hoped it would be a way to convince {the students} that they could find things they liked about other traditions, and it would not make them disloyal to their own.” She said that it worked most of the time.

Taylor writes about how teaching the different religions changed her student’s understanding of faith, as well as her own. She was asked if she was concerned about shaking the faith of her students. She answered: I think that education does that – whatever the subject matter. So, yes, I did feel as if in the field of religion I was in the business of making misfits, who would never quite fit the same way in their faith communities, their families. Then I started talking to colleagues in other fields and they said, “Yeah, that’s what we do at college, it’s that people grow and change and don’t fit where they used to.’”

Education does that – whatever the subject matter – and yoga is just a different subject.

In Zen Buddhism, this process of education, or moving towards enlightenment is represented by the 10 Bull Pictures.

In psychology, a similar learning curve is depicted by The Four Stages of Competence.

In the beginning we are Consciously Incompetent. This is the ignorance is bliss stage. We don’t know what we don’t know. The second stage is Conscious Incompetence. We know our arms are bent, but we aren’t able to straighten them. This can be a little frustrating. Then there might be a breakthrough and if we really concentrate, we can straighten our arms. This stage is called Conscious Competence. Finally through perfect practice we may enter into the state of Unconscious Competence where we don’t have to think about it, we know our arms are straight.

Another book you might enjoy in this same vein is Educated by Tara Westover. Ms. Westover wasn’t your garden variety college student. When the Holocaust was mentioned in a history class, she didn’t know what it was (no, really). That’s because she didn’t see the inside of a classroom until the age of seventeen. Public education was one of the many things her religious fanatic father was dubious of, believing it a means for the government to brainwash its gullible citizens, and her mother wasn’t diligent on the homeschooling front. If it wasn’t for a brother who managed to extricate himself from their isolated—and often dangerous--world, Westover might still be in rural Idaho, trying to survive her survivalist upbringing. It’s a miraculous story she tells in her memoir Educated. For those of us who took our educations for granted, who occasionally fell asleep in large lecture halls (and inconveniently small ones), it’s hard to grasp the level of grit—not to mention intellect—required to pull off what Westover did. But eventually earning a PhD from Cambridge University may have been the easy part, at least compared to what she had to sacrifice to attain it. The courage it took to make that sacrifice was the truest indicator of how far she’d come, and how much she’d learned. Educated is an inspiring reminder that knowledge is, indeed, power. --Erin Kodicek, Amazon Book

Can't Do Boat Pose?

Modifications for Navasana

In the book How Yoga Works, Miss Friday notices that the Captain skips doing Boat Pose in his practice.  When she asks him about it he says the pose is not for him because it hurts his back.  She lets him know that he needs to do all of the poses that she taught him and that each pose has its benefits.  Leaving out the poses we don’t like simply reinforces our imbalances and the duality that our preferences create.  Often the poses we most want to avoid because we can’t do them or they are uncomfortable are the very ones we need to do.

She quotes from Patanjali's Yoga Sutras to him: And then there will come a time when differences (attachment and aversion) no longer disturb you.  Y.S. II.48

However, we shouldn’t just push through pain to do a pose.  It is possible to find a manageable variation for everybody in any pose.

If you find Navasana to be a challenging pose to do, here are a couple of good variations that you can practice.

Full Boat using the arms for support

Full Boat with bent knees and hands on (or off of) the floor

Half Boat, one foot on the floor and using one arm for support

Full Boat using a belt for support

Try any one of these variations, or even combinations of the variations that I haven't pictured, and see if you can make any improvements in your Boat Pose.  Feel free to play and find something you can do!

“So no more faces when you come into a pose that’s hard for you.  The hard ones are usually doing you and your back the most good.  Don’t give in to preferences; don’t create more differences in your life.  It’s the differences that harass us all day long that make our days unhappy.  I like this, I don’t like that.  I like her, I don’t like him.  I don’t want to do this thing I have to do, I’d rather do that thing I want to do.”  (I’m tired of this cold weather and snow already, I’d like it to be 30 degrees warmer!)  Miss Friday to the Captain in How Yoga Works.  (Except the part about the weather,  that’s me!)

Chanting the Sanskrit Alphabet

Chanting the Sanskrit Alphabet

This month we will be learning the Sanskrit alphabet. Chanting the Sanskrit Alphabet is much more than learning the letters and the sounds. Each letter represents a petal in one of our chakras. Chanting the alphabet can open our chakras.

We start by chanting the vowels and then move through the consonants.  The consonants are grouped by how they are pronounced.  The gutturals are created in the back of the throat.  The palatals are created in the upprer palate.  The cerebrals are created by curling the tongue back and touching the tip of it to the roof of the mouth.  The dentals are created with the tongue touching the teeth and the labials are created with the lips.

Listen to Nicolai Bachman, who wrote The Language of Yoga,  chant the alphabet here:

Each letter stimulates a petal in one of the chakras:

The throat chakra

The heart chakra

The solar chakra

The pelvic chakra

The root chakra

The third eye